L'chaim! I love life.
At least that's how I felt as I embarked on a new adventure today. I drove 100 miles to Delta, Utah just to see what it was all about, and then came back home. I've had an insatiable curiosity to see what lies beyond Utah Lake and today I decided to satisfy that need. I came home from church and the thought of hanging out in my basement apartment on such a glorious day put me in a bad mood, so I packed a lunch, grabbed my camera, and Google mapped my way out of Utah County for the afternoon.
I am equal parts spontaneous and adventurous, but I'm also a little bit of a chicken and I've put off going on adventures because I've been stuck on the notion that I need someone to go with. This week I finally decided that if I keep waiting for a sidekick, I'm going to miss out living my life! So, with this realization, I set off to the great unknown, to see what lies beyond the realm of my familiarity.
I love going on long drives. My family used to take long drives on Sunday afternoons. We would just drive somewhere, up into the mountains or into the country, and spend time together. Those are some of my favorite memories. Today, it was just me and my trusty stead, Wellington. Long drives almost always turn into something of a spiritual experience for me. Weird, I know, but I'm left alone with my own thoughts to keep me occupied and I can't help but marvel at the beauty of the world and feel more keenly my place in it.
My faith is so important to me, but I wouldn't know that if I hadn't gone through a period of time where it wasn't. I was always a good girl- I went to church, got up at 5:15 every morning to go to seminary, I dressed modestly and never swore. Then I went to BYU and rebelled. I lost touch with what I'd been taught growing up and, eventually, I lost my faith. I wasn't a bad girl, per se, but I wasn't squeaky clean good either.
I wandered for a few years, frustrated and lacking a sense of purpose, before I was finally given this fantastic book about the Atonement called, "Believing Christ." The gist of the book is that it's not enough to just believe IN Christ, but to Believe Christ. It's a fantastic little book, and it lays out the Atonement in a way that is so easy to understand and yet it leaves you feeling so fulfilled. When I read this book, I was just blown away by how beautiful the Atonement is. It was when I finally felt like I had at least a little bit of understanding of that act that I began to regain my faith.
It didn't happen overnight. It was an effort, but one that seemed so much easier than before. Since then, I've come to feel more complete as a person. I better understand my place in this world and I know that whatever comes my way is meant to and I can handle it. I've discovered that there is beauty in everything, even in the darkest of times; we just have to look a little harder, but it's there.
I'm still a little bit of a rebel, and I always will be, but it's my faith that really defines me. I love the Book of Mormon- It contains some of the most beautiful scriptures about the Savior and is such an amazing companion to the Bible.
I get carried away, please forgive me. This is what happens when I go on long drives. Me + nature= reflections of a spiritual nature.
In conclusion, I'm spontaneous! I'm independent! I'm a rebel! Also, I not only sing in the car, but I also dance. Yep, I'm that girl.